So, I have dehormoned. This is good. I got my car and my lisence and everything else that is made of joy. Also, I have probably bit off way more than I can chew with the term paper I am about to attempt, so we'll see how that goes. Here's a glimpse.
I. Introduction
Thesis: Postmodernist philosophy shakes the tenets of educational theory and causes educational research to adapt to the multifaceted minefield of the shifting cultural ideals in a marketized academic environment.
*cough* yea... Hopefully it will make for reading material that will not instantly cause blackout. But, if it does, then at least I can stop taking melatonin to counteract the insidiously large amounts of caffeine I ingest daily.
Srsly.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Monday, November 10, 2008
I am annoyed. I am frustrated. I am definately not interested in writing four fucking papers in the next week.
Why yes, hormonal, why do you ask?
I am starting a rage campaign of disgust with the Ohio BMV. Going on week two of waiting for them to get my freaking sr-22 so I can reinstate my florida driver's license and be FREE TO GO WHERE EVER I PLEASE. This is made of sucking. I have a car and insurance, but do I get to drive? No. Why? Because Ohio doesn't accept the modern age. Fuckers.
Anyway. Tomorrow I have the day off, so I assume that I will be approached by something vaguely resembling the inspiration fairy. I want my car. I want to go see Maria in St. Pete before she pops. I want to lose about ten pounds... (is it possible to get the freshman fifteen when you are thirty??)
Suckage.
I'm mostly just bitching, because everything is going swimmingly. I have two jobs, possibly three, I have straight A's and a beautiful boyfriend. I have the most awesome cats on the planet and I've registered for next semester's classes without a hitch.
I think I may just go and chain smoke myself into oblivion. Or maybe I need to get my ass to like fifteen meetings tomorrow. *sigh*
C'est ma vie.
Why yes, hormonal, why do you ask?
I am starting a rage campaign of disgust with the Ohio BMV. Going on week two of waiting for them to get my freaking sr-22 so I can reinstate my florida driver's license and be FREE TO GO WHERE EVER I PLEASE. This is made of sucking. I have a car and insurance, but do I get to drive? No. Why? Because Ohio doesn't accept the modern age. Fuckers.
Anyway. Tomorrow I have the day off, so I assume that I will be approached by something vaguely resembling the inspiration fairy. I want my car. I want to go see Maria in St. Pete before she pops. I want to lose about ten pounds... (is it possible to get the freshman fifteen when you are thirty??)
Suckage.
I'm mostly just bitching, because everything is going swimmingly. I have two jobs, possibly three, I have straight A's and a beautiful boyfriend. I have the most awesome cats on the planet and I've registered for next semester's classes without a hitch.
I think I may just go and chain smoke myself into oblivion. Or maybe I need to get my ass to like fifteen meetings tomorrow. *sigh*
C'est ma vie.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Paper Dump of the first! Maus
Maus: Review Paper
Spiegelman, Art. Maus : A Survivor's Tale: My Father Bleeds History. New York: Pantheon, 1986.
Maus tells the story of one survivor’s experiences leading up to the Holocaust using mice, cats, pigs, and other animals. It also tells the subtler story of a son struggling to understand a father who lived and was shaped by a world completely alien to him. Maus received several awards, was lauded in magazines, and highly reviewed in newspapers. The highest praise came in 1992, when it won the Pulitzer prize for special category literature. As a comic book work it accomplished what was thought to be impossible; for a comic book, a genre relegated to children, to be considered one of the best literary accomplishments. Maus showed the true depth the genre could produce.
Maus was written and illustrated by the accomplished cartoonist Art Spiegelman. The story blends several oral accounts taken from multiple interviews with his father and is bolstered by secondary accounts from other survivors to enhance accuracy. Spiegelman did exhaustive research to ensure that the loose line illustrations conveyed the sense of the time period and were evocative of pre-War Poland. It was originally released in several parts and finally collected into a digest sized graphic novel.
By using the comic book form, Spiegelman was able to explore history with both visual and written story telling. Oral history is fluid; a collection of nonlinear events pieced together chronologically. Spiegelman involved the reader in the process by using dialect and illustrating his own experience of understanding and relating oral histories. He allows the reader to experience the act of digression and interruption. These simple techniques proved dramatically engaging. They helped tell the secondary story by allowing the reader to associate the frustration the son felt in collecting the information necessary from his father.
Spiegelman embraced the power of a reader’s inference by choosing the comic book as his medium. “Much of the power of Spiegelman’s book lies in his discourse with the reader, a discourse that exists between the panels, beneath the narration and dialogue”(Brown 92). There is a sense of the unknowable that permeates his attempt to tell the history of the Holocaust from one singular survivor’s point of view. By not filling in the blanks, the space between panels, he creates a specific sense of space that is separate from the history as a whole.
Spiegelman’s visual allegory portraying the different social strata of pre-War Poland with different animals is a direct reference to Hitler’s quote: “The Jews are undoubtedly a race, but they are not human.” (Spiegelman 1). There is a strange anthropomorphic quality to the characters because they are portrayed as animals but are undoubtedly human. They are humans wearing the costume of animals. Allowing the reader to distance themselves slightly from the events by using animal characters gives the audience space to identify more readily, to connect with the emotions of an event more personally. By taking away humans as subject matter, Spiegelman gives the reader the ability to see each character as a version of themselves instead of as a specific person, as an other.
The choice Spiegelman made in structure, dialogue, and simple artistic portrayal help capture an emotional story by conveying the sense of the unknowable within the relation of one generation to the next and highlights that same feeling within the events that led to the Holocaust in one survivor’s story. It has gaps in history, it is unreliable, and by being both unknowable and unreliable conveys a touchingly human story. Maus as a literary construct finally managed to blend the world of art and storytelling seamlessly giving the reader a chance to experience history in an entirely new light.
Work Cited
Brown, Joshua. "Review: Of Mice and Memory." The Oral History Review spring 16 (1988): 91-109.
Spiegelman, Art. Maus : A Survivor's Tale: My Father Bleeds History. New York: Pantheon, 1986.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Aspasia Paper
So, there were only two students who turned in their critical question papers on time today. Myself and Dana. Dana is this rad dude who sits outside with me every time we take a test (read: finish ridiculously early and wander aimlessly for about an hour afterward) end up discussing philosophy or learning in general. It's quite possibly the best part about taking my western civ tests. I didn't feel as prepared as I would have liked for this particular test, but I'm relatively certain I still got an A. I know I only missed one question on my philosophy test and that was more a question of semantics than actually getting the wrong answer.
But, for the parentals or whoever else might be interested, here's what I came up with for My paper:
Aspasia: Woman Apart
Aspasia of Miletus was an aberration in fourth century Athens. In a society that cloistered its women behind the walls of the house, she walked freely through both the polis and agora. In a culture that gagged the feminine voice with the ties of virtue, she conversed with men in the highest levels of politics and sophistry. In a city that believed the “greatest glory of a woman is to be least talked about by men, whether they are praising… or criticizing”(Thucydides 5.4.2), her name was known to thousands. She taught the great orator Pericles his trade and educated the brilliant Socrates in the craft of discussion. She defied the traditions of the day. Her position as a metic allowed her to disregard Attic tradition and her questionable profession of hetaera gained her access to the traditional world of men’s politics and philosophy.
Aspasia was born in Miletus, a rich city on the coast of Asia Minor. Miletus itself had a turbulent history. It was teeming with education in philosophy, mathmatics, art, and architecture. Miletus gave birth to such scholars as Thales, Anaximander and Anaximenes. As a member of the Delian League there were obvious ties with Athens. Her sister’s marriage to the exiled Athenian politician Alcibiades (grandfather of later notorious Alcibiades) may have had some part in Aspasia’s interest and education in politics(Henry 10). Aspasia emigrated from Miletus to Athens in this man’s entourage. Aspasia’s bios became inextricably linked with that of the most powerful man in politics during that time: Pericles. She emerged as his lover and this controversial relationship catapulted her into the public eye. The leader of Attic democracy lavishing attention on a woman, let alone a non citizen and reputed member of the hetaera, was scandalous. Years after her death, Plutarch commented that Pericles showed her an astounding amount of public affection and that despite the proclivity of later generations to assume their relationship was mercenary, he proclaimed their affair was formed out of the quiet passion and mutual respect of real love (Glenn, Sex 183). In fact, historian Marie Delcourt captured the tone of the public’s fascination with their relationship when she wrote: “no one would have thought the less of Pericles for making love to young boys… but they were shocked by his treating [Aspasia] like a human being “(77). This notoriety garnered a celebrity that was shared by few other women of the time.
Aspasia, like her contemporary Socrates, exists entirely within secondary sources. She has no written tradition of her own, leaving behind a tangle of half truths that have subsumed any philosophical tradition she may have created into the world of male philosophers. Comedians of the period attacked her mercilessly, proclaiming her a whore and epitethets that are significantly worse. Aristophanes was especially harsh, citing her as a whore by parodying the beginning of Herodotus’ Histories and casting her as a waspish madam wanting revenge for the theft of her whores by the Megarians(Frost 69). He defiled her further by referring to her as “Kynna the whore… whose head is encircled with the tongues of one hundred sycophants, deadly torrents of voice, the stench of a seal, the unwashed testicles of a Lamia, and the asshole of a camel…”(Aristophanes 1035). Aspasia’s ability to continue her public life while being lambasted speaks volumes of her character. Political orators used her relationship with Pericles to degrade his abilities and question, in the Homeric tradition, her involvement in the beginning of the Peloponnesian War. “Aspasia was so brilliant she could not possibly be respectable”(Glenn, Remapping 184).
Socrates, however, spoke highly of her as an educator and rhetorician. Through Plato’s Menexenus, Socrates names Aspasia as the person who taught him the art of rhetoric and also as the person who authored the famous Funeral Speech that secured Pericles’ position as one of the greatest orators of Athens (Coventry 3). Plato’s use of Aspasia as a literary device allowed him to place questionable words in his mentor’s mouth. She became a scapegoat so that Socrates could shift around controversial issues in Plato’s plays by claiming the words to truly be from someone else. Socrates and Aspasia both represent remarkable people obscured by several secondary representations. They enjoyed an interesting relationship of student and teacher, but also of friend and mentor. There are many objects of art that display Aspasia and Socrates nearly as equals(Vermeule 54). Their affinity demonstrates a natural tendency for unconventional personalities to bond over common ideals.
Aspasia existed as an outsider in Athenian society. As a woman and therefore a non-citizen, the laws created had no meaning for her. She was able to circumvent a woman’s position in Athens only because the society was created for those who existed within it. The laws governing a woman’s place had little relevance for an outsider. Her intelligence set her apart. Her education made her a maverick and her ability to move freely in social circles by nature of her profession made her unique. She was outspoken only because Athenian women were kept virtuously reticent. She was an obvious target, but because of this she is also one of the few women of record. Aspasia has become a touchstone for the feminist movement in rhetoric if only because she is remarkably present in the literature of the time. The place Periclean Athens had defined for a woman had no space for a woman in Aspasia’s unique position. She became a target. She became a woman apart.
Bibliography
Coventry, Lucinda. "Philosophy and Rhetoric in the Menexenus." The Journal of Hellenistic Studies 109 (1989): 1-15.
Delcourt, Marie. Pericles. N.p.: Gallemard, 1939.
Frost, Frank J. "Pericles and Dracontides." The Journal of Hellenistic Studies 84 (1964): 69-72.
Garland, Robert. "Celebrity in the Ancient World." History Today 55 (2005): 24-32.
Glenn, Cheryl. "Remapping Rhetorical Territory." Rhetoric Review 13 (1995): 287-303.
Glenn, Cheryl. "Sex, Lies, and Manuscript: Refiguring Aspasia in the History of Rhetoric." College Composition and Communication 45 (1994): 180-99.
Gomme, A. W. "The Position of Women in Athens in the Fifth and Fourth Centuries." Classical Philology 20 (1925): 1-25.
Henry, Madeleine M. Prisoner of History : Aspasia of Miletus and Her Biographical Tradition. New York: Oxford UP, 1995.
Plato. Menexenus. Grand Rapids: Kessinger, LLC, 2004.
Swearingen, C. Jan. "Plato's Feminine: Appropriation, Impersonation, and Metaphorical Polemic." Rhetoric Society Quarterly Feminist Rereadings in the History of Rhetoric 22 (1992): 109-23.
Vermeule III, Cornelius C. "Socrates and Aspasia: New Portraits of Late Antiquity." The Classical Journal 54 (1958): 49-55.
But, for the parentals or whoever else might be interested, here's what I came up with for My paper:
Aspasia: Woman Apart
Aspasia of Miletus was an aberration in fourth century Athens. In a society that cloistered its women behind the walls of the house, she walked freely through both the polis and agora. In a culture that gagged the feminine voice with the ties of virtue, she conversed with men in the highest levels of politics and sophistry. In a city that believed the “greatest glory of a woman is to be least talked about by men, whether they are praising… or criticizing”(Thucydides 5.4.2), her name was known to thousands. She taught the great orator Pericles his trade and educated the brilliant Socrates in the craft of discussion. She defied the traditions of the day. Her position as a metic allowed her to disregard Attic tradition and her questionable profession of hetaera gained her access to the traditional world of men’s politics and philosophy.
Aspasia was born in Miletus, a rich city on the coast of Asia Minor. Miletus itself had a turbulent history. It was teeming with education in philosophy, mathmatics, art, and architecture. Miletus gave birth to such scholars as Thales, Anaximander and Anaximenes. As a member of the Delian League there were obvious ties with Athens. Her sister’s marriage to the exiled Athenian politician Alcibiades (grandfather of later notorious Alcibiades) may have had some part in Aspasia’s interest and education in politics(Henry 10). Aspasia emigrated from Miletus to Athens in this man’s entourage. Aspasia’s bios became inextricably linked with that of the most powerful man in politics during that time: Pericles. She emerged as his lover and this controversial relationship catapulted her into the public eye. The leader of Attic democracy lavishing attention on a woman, let alone a non citizen and reputed member of the hetaera, was scandalous. Years after her death, Plutarch commented that Pericles showed her an astounding amount of public affection and that despite the proclivity of later generations to assume their relationship was mercenary, he proclaimed their affair was formed out of the quiet passion and mutual respect of real love (Glenn, Sex 183). In fact, historian Marie Delcourt captured the tone of the public’s fascination with their relationship when she wrote: “no one would have thought the less of Pericles for making love to young boys… but they were shocked by his treating [Aspasia] like a human being “(77). This notoriety garnered a celebrity that was shared by few other women of the time.
Aspasia, like her contemporary Socrates, exists entirely within secondary sources. She has no written tradition of her own, leaving behind a tangle of half truths that have subsumed any philosophical tradition she may have created into the world of male philosophers. Comedians of the period attacked her mercilessly, proclaiming her a whore and epitethets that are significantly worse. Aristophanes was especially harsh, citing her as a whore by parodying the beginning of Herodotus’ Histories and casting her as a waspish madam wanting revenge for the theft of her whores by the Megarians(Frost 69). He defiled her further by referring to her as “Kynna the whore… whose head is encircled with the tongues of one hundred sycophants, deadly torrents of voice, the stench of a seal, the unwashed testicles of a Lamia, and the asshole of a camel…”(Aristophanes 1035). Aspasia’s ability to continue her public life while being lambasted speaks volumes of her character. Political orators used her relationship with Pericles to degrade his abilities and question, in the Homeric tradition, her involvement in the beginning of the Peloponnesian War. “Aspasia was so brilliant she could not possibly be respectable”(Glenn, Remapping 184).
Socrates, however, spoke highly of her as an educator and rhetorician. Through Plato’s Menexenus, Socrates names Aspasia as the person who taught him the art of rhetoric and also as the person who authored the famous Funeral Speech that secured Pericles’ position as one of the greatest orators of Athens (Coventry 3). Plato’s use of Aspasia as a literary device allowed him to place questionable words in his mentor’s mouth. She became a scapegoat so that Socrates could shift around controversial issues in Plato’s plays by claiming the words to truly be from someone else. Socrates and Aspasia both represent remarkable people obscured by several secondary representations. They enjoyed an interesting relationship of student and teacher, but also of friend and mentor. There are many objects of art that display Aspasia and Socrates nearly as equals(Vermeule 54). Their affinity demonstrates a natural tendency for unconventional personalities to bond over common ideals.
Aspasia existed as an outsider in Athenian society. As a woman and therefore a non-citizen, the laws created had no meaning for her. She was able to circumvent a woman’s position in Athens only because the society was created for those who existed within it. The laws governing a woman’s place had little relevance for an outsider. Her intelligence set her apart. Her education made her a maverick and her ability to move freely in social circles by nature of her profession made her unique. She was outspoken only because Athenian women were kept virtuously reticent. She was an obvious target, but because of this she is also one of the few women of record. Aspasia has become a touchstone for the feminist movement in rhetoric if only because she is remarkably present in the literature of the time. The place Periclean Athens had defined for a woman had no space for a woman in Aspasia’s unique position. She became a target. She became a woman apart.
Bibliography
Coventry, Lucinda. "Philosophy and Rhetoric in the Menexenus." The Journal of Hellenistic Studies 109 (1989): 1-15.
Delcourt, Marie. Pericles. N.p.: Gallemard, 1939.
Frost, Frank J. "Pericles and Dracontides." The Journal of Hellenistic Studies 84 (1964): 69-72.
Garland, Robert. "Celebrity in the Ancient World." History Today 55 (2005): 24-32.
Glenn, Cheryl. "Remapping Rhetorical Territory." Rhetoric Review 13 (1995): 287-303.
Glenn, Cheryl. "Sex, Lies, and Manuscript: Refiguring Aspasia in the History of Rhetoric." College Composition and Communication 45 (1994): 180-99.
Gomme, A. W. "The Position of Women in Athens in the Fifth and Fourth Centuries." Classical Philology 20 (1925): 1-25.
Henry, Madeleine M. Prisoner of History : Aspasia of Miletus and Her Biographical Tradition. New York: Oxford UP, 1995.
Plato. Menexenus. Grand Rapids: Kessinger, LLC, 2004.
Swearingen, C. Jan. "Plato's Feminine: Appropriation, Impersonation, and Metaphorical Polemic." Rhetoric Society Quarterly Feminist Rereadings in the History of Rhetoric 22 (1992): 109-23.
Vermeule III, Cornelius C. "Socrates and Aspasia: New Portraits of Late Antiquity." The Classical Journal 54 (1958): 49-55.
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Aspasia, you are my HERO.
So I've been writing a new paper for my Western Civ class about one of the coolest chicks I have discovered so far. I say so far because I haven't had the chance to find out more about some of the other historical women on my "LIST OF CHICKS WHO MAY OR MAY NOT ROCK OUT IN HISTORY". It's a very specific list. I keep it in my pocket in a little notebook. I stare at it and think someday I WILL BE ON A LIST LIKE THIS.
*cough* No, really, I am not plotting to take over the world. why in the world would you think that? *cough*
So here is the first paragraph. It's still rough, but I think it generally sums up the idea of the paper:
Aspasia of Miletus was an aberration in fourth century Athens. In a society that cloistered its women behind the walls of the house, she walked freely through both the polis and agora. In a culture that gagged the feminine voice with the ties of virtue, she conversed with men in the highest levels of politics and sophistry. In a city that believed the “greatest glory of a woman is to be least talked about by men, whether they are praising… or criticizing”(Thucydides 5.4.2), her name was known to thousands. She taught the great orator Pericles his trade and educated the brilliant Socrates in the craft of discussion. She defied the traditions of the day. Her position as a metic allowed her to disregard Attic tradition and her questionable profession of hetaera gained her access to the traditional world of men’s politics and philosophy.
More to follow, once I get it finished. Just have to write about her chillin with Socrates and my personal opinions on her life etc. All of this good. It will be done by tomorrow and ready for the reading Thursday. WHEE.
Two tests thursday and finally got the whole class on board for the project. These are all good things.
*cough* No, really, I am not plotting to take over the world. why in the world would you think that? *cough*
So here is the first paragraph. It's still rough, but I think it generally sums up the idea of the paper:
Aspasia of Miletus was an aberration in fourth century Athens. In a society that cloistered its women behind the walls of the house, she walked freely through both the polis and agora. In a culture that gagged the feminine voice with the ties of virtue, she conversed with men in the highest levels of politics and sophistry. In a city that believed the “greatest glory of a woman is to be least talked about by men, whether they are praising… or criticizing”(Thucydides 5.4.2), her name was known to thousands. She taught the great orator Pericles his trade and educated the brilliant Socrates in the craft of discussion. She defied the traditions of the day. Her position as a metic allowed her to disregard Attic tradition and her questionable profession of hetaera gained her access to the traditional world of men’s politics and philosophy.
More to follow, once I get it finished. Just have to write about her chillin with Socrates and my personal opinions on her life etc. All of this good. It will be done by tomorrow and ready for the reading Thursday. WHEE.
Two tests thursday and finally got the whole class on board for the project. These are all good things.
Monday, October 6, 2008
Fear my skin.
On a random note: Sometimes I want to take pictures of my Biore strips just so I can post them and be like "LOOK WORLD! FEAR WHAT I HAVE RIPPED FORTH FROM MY PORES! ARE YOU NOT PROUD!?"
weird, yes, I know.
So, I'm totally procrastinating on making an outline for the Peter Paul Rubens Class project of Mayhem that I decided would be a GREAT fucking idea to organize and outline. No really, it totally sounded like a rad idea at the time. So now, to find approx 40 things that are vaguely important about Rubens and his one painting and translate it into a working outline then print them out sequentially for class on Tuesday.
Did I mention the retarded metric shit tonne of homework that I have to do on TOP of that? Oh right, maybe because I am being squished under it. WHEE!
Going to dig myself out now and knuckle down until Maria calls to distract me and I can share the glories of my pore prodding with her.
Damn I'm exciting.
OH! Also, I got a new pair of glasses, rockingly red, that I think I subconsciously chose to highlight the killer zit that subconsciously prompted the biore strip buying. Apparently, I'm not too aware of what my deviant brain is plotting until money has been spent.
weird, yes, I know.
So, I'm totally procrastinating on making an outline for the Peter Paul Rubens Class project of Mayhem that I decided would be a GREAT fucking idea to organize and outline. No really, it totally sounded like a rad idea at the time. So now, to find approx 40 things that are vaguely important about Rubens and his one painting and translate it into a working outline then print them out sequentially for class on Tuesday.
Did I mention the retarded metric shit tonne of homework that I have to do on TOP of that? Oh right, maybe because I am being squished under it. WHEE!
Going to dig myself out now and knuckle down until Maria calls to distract me and I can share the glories of my pore prodding with her.
Damn I'm exciting.
OH! Also, I got a new pair of glasses, rockingly red, that I think I subconsciously chose to highlight the killer zit that subconsciously prompted the biore strip buying. Apparently, I'm not too aware of what my deviant brain is plotting until money has been spent.
Friday, October 3, 2008
Same thing we do every night Pinky...
So, I'm trying really hard right now to rein in my urge to take over the world. I mean that in the smallest sense possible. I've accepted the presidency of the English and Humanities Honor Fraternity on campus, I've taken the student ARC position, I've joined the new Think Tank on Campus...
... and I'm considering restarting the Campus Newspaper and running for Student Government to bring the voice of students back to the new President and away from the color scheme of a Fall Formal that most students will never attend. I'm trying to figure out a way to write a magazine article for a new IPhone magazine and possibly flesh out a paper to be published in an academic journal, I'm writing a way too long paper for my Western Civ class, delivering a speech on Stem Cell research, trying to keep up with my homework and readings.
I'm trying to figure out if there is any possibility in hell of getting my GPA up once my transcripts from the first disastrous time in college arrive and if I can get accepted to something other than a State University. I would like to have the option of applying places like Berkley, Brown, Johns Hopkins and other such illustrious establishments and don't want the wreckage of my drunken youth to ruin my future and current opportunities.
I'm trying to work full time to keep my brand new Health Benefits and balance that with a second job so I can afford to live while in school. I'm trying to balance all of that on top of the priority of staying sober and making meetings and working the steps of the program.
So mostly, I feel slightly overwhelmed and exhilarated and wish like HELL there was a pause button so I could sleep eight hours a night and still have the 24 hours I NEED during each day to fit in all of the things I really want to attempt.
After all, I'm taking over the world here. There is no rest for the wicked.
... and I'm considering restarting the Campus Newspaper and running for Student Government to bring the voice of students back to the new President and away from the color scheme of a Fall Formal that most students will never attend. I'm trying to figure out a way to write a magazine article for a new IPhone magazine and possibly flesh out a paper to be published in an academic journal, I'm writing a way too long paper for my Western Civ class, delivering a speech on Stem Cell research, trying to keep up with my homework and readings.
I'm trying to figure out if there is any possibility in hell of getting my GPA up once my transcripts from the first disastrous time in college arrive and if I can get accepted to something other than a State University. I would like to have the option of applying places like Berkley, Brown, Johns Hopkins and other such illustrious establishments and don't want the wreckage of my drunken youth to ruin my future and current opportunities.
I'm trying to work full time to keep my brand new Health Benefits and balance that with a second job so I can afford to live while in school. I'm trying to balance all of that on top of the priority of staying sober and making meetings and working the steps of the program.
So mostly, I feel slightly overwhelmed and exhilarated and wish like HELL there was a pause button so I could sleep eight hours a night and still have the 24 hours I NEED during each day to fit in all of the things I really want to attempt.
After all, I'm taking over the world here. There is no rest for the wicked.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Holy Political Agenda Batman! Comic Books and the Cold War
Here ya go, the rough draft that I turned in cause I procrastinated too long.
Holy Political Agenda Batman! Comic Books and The Cold War
In 1986 two comic book writers tackled the superhero genre from a new angle. Frank Miller attempted to rework the iconic character of Batman into something new. Alan Moore created new characters that parodied the classic archetypes. The Dark Knight Returns and The Watchmen both told stories relevant to the neo-conservative politics instated during the Cold War. Frank Miller transformed Batman from a hard jawed deeply committed law enforcer or campy pop culture icon to a brooding sociopath with no choice left but to circumvent the system (Sabin 87). Alan Moore let readers glimpse a world where the superheroes are not set apart by circumstance and do not have an intrinsic need to fight crime; he gives us characters that are fatally and humanly flawed. The backdrop world of each comic helps to draw parallels. It is also one major difference between each book. In The Dark Knight Returns the static world of Gotham has changed to incorporate bits of the current political world. In The Watchmen, the city of New York graces the pages, changed only by the influence of the superheroes. By inserting elements of the real world and through subtle changes of the iconic cities of comic book Gotham and real world New York city, writers Frank Miller and Alan Moore were able to blend political commentary with comic book entertainment.
Gotham is the dark underbelly of the DC universe. It stands in stark contrast to the brightly lit world of Superman’s Metropolis. However, in The Dark Knight Returns, it becomes even seedier, almost anarchistic. In Miller’s vision, the streets run rampant with crime and Batman had retired. There is a tense atmosphere of fear and inevitability that permeates the dialogue and the strong hardened lines of the art. Miller’s world is broken, limping along like a wounded animal. It is feral and nothing like the Gotham illustrated in the earlier works. “In Miller’s Gotham it is no longer possible to assume the existence of Good”(Fisher 2). Batman changed to adapt. He is larger, a hulking mass that is as gritty and cynical as the city he defends. These changes reflect the political climate and even include Ronald Reagan as the president of this world. Miller took the world the reader was used to and changed it, hardened it. Miller’s Batman “mirrored Reagan’s tendency of hiding his relationship with authority behind a renegade image” (Dubose 917). Miller uses Gotham as a mirror to the world the reader lived in. He attempted to highlight the fears of the day and transform them into a hypothetical. Before this, politics of the reader’s world, never transgressed into the pages of comics. Gotham was separate, it was a safe haven to hide in, to reflect for a while. It allowed escapism, but Miller pulled his ideas from the headlines and showed the readers a world that could be.
Moore was able to use the same devices to illustrate a world that could have been. Unlike Miller who used Gotham where “though populated, it does not change nor does its populace”, Moore places his heroes in the ever dynamic New York City (Rollin 419). This change of setting allows him to more fully explore the ideology and impetus that forced his characters to put on the costume. They are not outside of the world they reside in, but fully a part of it and just as flawed and faceted as the time in which they were created. These heroes “exist at the mercy of contingent factors, which limit their actions. They have become just another facet of society” (Hughes 548). Superheroes and masked vigilantes just by existing changed the face of American history in his book. Instead of losing the Vietnam war, the help of characters like Dr. Manhattan and The Comedian, America dominates. Ronald Reagan is no longer president in his vision, but Nixon, ageing and paranoid. The cold war rages and in fact is the driving force behind the action. Masked vigilantes have been outlawed and only heroes that are willing to work implicitly with the government are allowed to continue fighting. Moore shows us a world where superheroes and political ideology are irrevocably intertwined.
In the end, both books attempt to re-examine the vigilante in light of the Cold War. “A vigilante’s activity becomes labeled as such only in the event of political differences”(DuBose 918). Without the defining bits of real world politics inserted into both books neither Miller or Moore could have created something exciting and new for the comic book world. In a time when readers were looking to comic books as a source of escape both Miller and Moore pulled them back to the reality at hand. When characters are placed outside the spectrum of ideology they do not need to answer to a higher governmental authority. By giving Batman a corrupt government and the tense ideology of neo-conservatism to interact with, Miller broke the character out of a dated and languishing mold. Miller’s Batman may “be authoritarian, violent, and sadistic, but in a world of endemic corruption he is the least worst option”(Fisher 3). By setting The Watchmen in a world “marked by fragmentation of authority and disconnected forces”, Moore lets the reader reassess the current political state from an outside pop culture perspective. By pulling in real world aspects to each book, the authors moved the comic genre from one of the lowest echelons of literary work into a new age.
Works Cited
DuBose, Mike. “Holding Out for a Hero: Reaganism, Comic Book Vigilantes, and Captain America.” Journal of Popular Culture. 40.6 (2007): 915-935.
Fisher, Mark. “Gothic Oedipus: Subjectivity and Capitalism in Christopher Nolan’s Batman Begins.” ImageText: Interdisciplinary Comics Studies 2.2 (2006): 1-11.
Hughes, Jamie. “Who Watches the Watchmen: Ideology and Real World Superheroes.” Journal of Popular Culture. 39.4 (2006): 546-557.
Rollin, Roger. “Beowulf to Batman: The Epic Hero and Pop Culture.” College English. 31.5 (1970): 431- 449.
Sabin, Roger. Adult Comics: An Introduction. New York: Routledge, 1993.
Holy Political Agenda Batman! Comic Books and The Cold War
In 1986 two comic book writers tackled the superhero genre from a new angle. Frank Miller attempted to rework the iconic character of Batman into something new. Alan Moore created new characters that parodied the classic archetypes. The Dark Knight Returns and The Watchmen both told stories relevant to the neo-conservative politics instated during the Cold War. Frank Miller transformed Batman from a hard jawed deeply committed law enforcer or campy pop culture icon to a brooding sociopath with no choice left but to circumvent the system (Sabin 87). Alan Moore let readers glimpse a world where the superheroes are not set apart by circumstance and do not have an intrinsic need to fight crime; he gives us characters that are fatally and humanly flawed. The backdrop world of each comic helps to draw parallels. It is also one major difference between each book. In The Dark Knight Returns the static world of Gotham has changed to incorporate bits of the current political world. In The Watchmen, the city of New York graces the pages, changed only by the influence of the superheroes. By inserting elements of the real world and through subtle changes of the iconic cities of comic book Gotham and real world New York city, writers Frank Miller and Alan Moore were able to blend political commentary with comic book entertainment.
Gotham is the dark underbelly of the DC universe. It stands in stark contrast to the brightly lit world of Superman’s Metropolis. However, in The Dark Knight Returns, it becomes even seedier, almost anarchistic. In Miller’s vision, the streets run rampant with crime and Batman had retired. There is a tense atmosphere of fear and inevitability that permeates the dialogue and the strong hardened lines of the art. Miller’s world is broken, limping along like a wounded animal. It is feral and nothing like the Gotham illustrated in the earlier works. “In Miller’s Gotham it is no longer possible to assume the existence of Good”(Fisher 2). Batman changed to adapt. He is larger, a hulking mass that is as gritty and cynical as the city he defends. These changes reflect the political climate and even include Ronald Reagan as the president of this world. Miller took the world the reader was used to and changed it, hardened it. Miller’s Batman “mirrored Reagan’s tendency of hiding his relationship with authority behind a renegade image” (Dubose 917). Miller uses Gotham as a mirror to the world the reader lived in. He attempted to highlight the fears of the day and transform them into a hypothetical. Before this, politics of the reader’s world, never transgressed into the pages of comics. Gotham was separate, it was a safe haven to hide in, to reflect for a while. It allowed escapism, but Miller pulled his ideas from the headlines and showed the readers a world that could be.
Moore was able to use the same devices to illustrate a world that could have been. Unlike Miller who used Gotham where “though populated, it does not change nor does its populace”, Moore places his heroes in the ever dynamic New York City (Rollin 419). This change of setting allows him to more fully explore the ideology and impetus that forced his characters to put on the costume. They are not outside of the world they reside in, but fully a part of it and just as flawed and faceted as the time in which they were created. These heroes “exist at the mercy of contingent factors, which limit their actions. They have become just another facet of society” (Hughes 548). Superheroes and masked vigilantes just by existing changed the face of American history in his book. Instead of losing the Vietnam war, the help of characters like Dr. Manhattan and The Comedian, America dominates. Ronald Reagan is no longer president in his vision, but Nixon, ageing and paranoid. The cold war rages and in fact is the driving force behind the action. Masked vigilantes have been outlawed and only heroes that are willing to work implicitly with the government are allowed to continue fighting. Moore shows us a world where superheroes and political ideology are irrevocably intertwined.
In the end, both books attempt to re-examine the vigilante in light of the Cold War. “A vigilante’s activity becomes labeled as such only in the event of political differences”(DuBose 918). Without the defining bits of real world politics inserted into both books neither Miller or Moore could have created something exciting and new for the comic book world. In a time when readers were looking to comic books as a source of escape both Miller and Moore pulled them back to the reality at hand. When characters are placed outside the spectrum of ideology they do not need to answer to a higher governmental authority. By giving Batman a corrupt government and the tense ideology of neo-conservatism to interact with, Miller broke the character out of a dated and languishing mold. Miller’s Batman may “be authoritarian, violent, and sadistic, but in a world of endemic corruption he is the least worst option”(Fisher 3). By setting The Watchmen in a world “marked by fragmentation of authority and disconnected forces”, Moore lets the reader reassess the current political state from an outside pop culture perspective. By pulling in real world aspects to each book, the authors moved the comic genre from one of the lowest echelons of literary work into a new age.
Works Cited
DuBose, Mike. “Holding Out for a Hero: Reaganism, Comic Book Vigilantes, and Captain America.” Journal of Popular Culture. 40.6 (2007): 915-935.
Fisher, Mark. “Gothic Oedipus: Subjectivity and Capitalism in Christopher Nolan’s Batman Begins.” ImageText: Interdisciplinary Comics Studies 2.2 (2006): 1-11.
Hughes, Jamie. “Who Watches the Watchmen: Ideology and Real World Superheroes.” Journal of Popular Culture. 39.4 (2006): 546-557.
Rollin, Roger. “Beowulf to Batman: The Epic Hero and Pop Culture.” College English. 31.5 (1970): 431- 449.
Sabin, Roger. Adult Comics: An Introduction. New York: Routledge, 1993.
Friday, September 19, 2008
Notes on drafting thesis
1. What is the fundamental difference in the portrayal of vigilantes in the 80’s iconic comic books The Dark Knight Returns and The Watchmen?
2. How are Batman and Ozymandius similar?
3. How are Superman and Dr. Manhattan similar?
4. How did the authors of TDKR and Watchmen re-envision superheroes in response to the political climate of the 80’s?
1. In the 80’s readers saw a shift in the portrayal of the iconic heroes Batman and Superman. Batman, in the hands of writer Frank Miller, moved from the driven detective envisioned by 50’s creator Bob Kane to a noir-like brooding near sociopath. Superman also transformed, darkening to match the sinister feel of the Dark Knight by losing his power as a symbol of American pride in truth and justice; he became just a simple tool for government to further it’s own political agenda.
Later, almost in response to the new standard set by Miller, Alan Moore released his epic The Watchmen which for the first time attempted to honestly look at what the real world integration of vigilantes and superheroes would do to American society.
(There are characteristic similarities between Moore’s Ozymandius to Miller’s Batman that are also mirrored in the comparisons that can be drawn between Moore’s Dr. Manhattan and Miller’s Superman.)
2. In Ozymandius and Batman the reader is introduced to normal men driven to not just fix a governmental system that no longer works, but to destroy it completely to allow for the creation of a new system of justice.
3. In Dr. Manhattan and Superman the reader sees how a character with inhuman, nearly Godlike, abilities is subsumed by the ruling government to further it’s own political agenda.
4.
Frank Miller-
-using iconic pre-existing characters
-changing their world from a static mirror world to include segments of reality for political satire
Alan Moore
-creating new characters that parody pre-existing characters
-establishing them in our world but shifting it into the hypothetical to encompass the affects of their influence
2. How are Batman and Ozymandius similar?
3. How are Superman and Dr. Manhattan similar?
4. How did the authors of TDKR and Watchmen re-envision superheroes in response to the political climate of the 80’s?
1. In the 80’s readers saw a shift in the portrayal of the iconic heroes Batman and Superman. Batman, in the hands of writer Frank Miller, moved from the driven detective envisioned by 50’s creator Bob Kane to a noir-like brooding near sociopath. Superman also transformed, darkening to match the sinister feel of the Dark Knight by losing his power as a symbol of American pride in truth and justice; he became just a simple tool for government to further it’s own political agenda.
Later, almost in response to the new standard set by Miller, Alan Moore released his epic The Watchmen which for the first time attempted to honestly look at what the real world integration of vigilantes and superheroes would do to American society.
(There are characteristic similarities between Moore’s Ozymandius to Miller’s Batman that are also mirrored in the comparisons that can be drawn between Moore’s Dr. Manhattan and Miller’s Superman.)
2. In Ozymandius and Batman the reader is introduced to normal men driven to not just fix a governmental system that no longer works, but to destroy it completely to allow for the creation of a new system of justice.
3. In Dr. Manhattan and Superman the reader sees how a character with inhuman, nearly Godlike, abilities is subsumed by the ruling government to further it’s own political agenda.
4.
Frank Miller-
-using iconic pre-existing characters
-changing their world from a static mirror world to include segments of reality for political satire
Alan Moore
-creating new characters that parody pre-existing characters
-establishing them in our world but shifting it into the hypothetical to encompass the affects of their influence
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Job Application Letter
Okay, it may just be me, but I find that the language necessary to seem competent in a successful job application letter is very similiar to the self inflated ego driven hot air I hear in some of the people I consider jackasses. This is difficult for me. But, for the sake of maintaining my "A" average in all of my classes I bit the bullet and talked myself up.
Urgh. I feel slimy. Please, rip it apart and tell me if I have failed or if this is actually someone a company would fall for... I mean, hire.
To Whom it May Concern:
Subject: Editorial Assistant Position
Detail oriented thinking and conceptual visualization are qualities that I have worked to acquire. I enjoy finding grammatical mistakes in novels. I voluntarily clean and reorganize the customer coffee station at Starbucks. I love finding a story in every customer that has five minutes to share while making change. My attention to detail and current focus on English as a major in college help qualify me for the entry-level editorial assistant position listed on your Website.
I currently tutor a graduate level student working on his masters’ thesis and am maintaining the highest grade in my English class. I am a self-starter and have pushed the envelope on the content and structure of my papers. I research and double-check the simplest of papers. I enjoy fact checking. I love finding the truth underneath the glossy story. I always find something new to learn and am not unwilling to ask for help. I work well with others and do my best to collaborate seamlessly.
I currently work at a coffee shop where I do all of the in house signage. I handcraft each, using past artistic experience and quick copy editing skills. I write the emails for my boss to her company supervisor. I double check every announcement posting for grammar and spelling mistakes. I strive to make sure customers get exactly what they order. I strive to go further and give them exactly what they want by listening to their expectations and attempting to anticipate their needs. Communication is the largest part of excellent customer service and I maintain a specificity of language and a high standard of service that meets the needs of each customer. I am motivated and willing to learn. I learn from my mistakes. I can express myself clearly.
I am committed to doing my best in any form of employment. After reviewing the enclosed resume, I would appreciate the opportunity to discuss why I would be a successful member of your team. I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
Meagn Goose
On another note, I did get an "A" on my Katrina Paper. In fact the only comment that the professor could make critically for it was actually incorrect. Semi colon useage is perfectly legal and definately does NOT indicate a comma splice. Thankyouverymuch.
I'm continuing to work on the comic book based paper and will post that up for everyone who actually gives a shit to read through once I have finished. I hope you enjoy it, despite the fact that I am having the damndest time figuring out where I want to start and even quite possibly the correct way to phrase my thesis statement. However, I do want to eventually publish in the academic journal I found on comic books just so that I can say I was published academically in my early undergraduate work in any college transfer application I do.
Which reminds me, I'm going to be looking into more on the Flagler College up in St Augustine. It seems at first glance like it would be a good fit, but that could all depend on the amount of financial aid I would be awarded. I also think I may go to graduate school at UF just so I can get a masters degree in comic books and visual rhetoric. That sounds freaking awesome despite the obvious drawbacks of employability. Who knows what tomorrow brings though, so no worries at the moment.
All is well on the southern front, hope you all are doing fabulously.
Urgh. I feel slimy. Please, rip it apart and tell me if I have failed or if this is actually someone a company would fall for... I mean, hire.
To Whom it May Concern:
Subject: Editorial Assistant Position
Detail oriented thinking and conceptual visualization are qualities that I have worked to acquire. I enjoy finding grammatical mistakes in novels. I voluntarily clean and reorganize the customer coffee station at Starbucks. I love finding a story in every customer that has five minutes to share while making change. My attention to detail and current focus on English as a major in college help qualify me for the entry-level editorial assistant position listed on your Website.
I currently tutor a graduate level student working on his masters’ thesis and am maintaining the highest grade in my English class. I am a self-starter and have pushed the envelope on the content and structure of my papers. I research and double-check the simplest of papers. I enjoy fact checking. I love finding the truth underneath the glossy story. I always find something new to learn and am not unwilling to ask for help. I work well with others and do my best to collaborate seamlessly.
I currently work at a coffee shop where I do all of the in house signage. I handcraft each, using past artistic experience and quick copy editing skills. I write the emails for my boss to her company supervisor. I double check every announcement posting for grammar and spelling mistakes. I strive to make sure customers get exactly what they order. I strive to go further and give them exactly what they want by listening to their expectations and attempting to anticipate their needs. Communication is the largest part of excellent customer service and I maintain a specificity of language and a high standard of service that meets the needs of each customer. I am motivated and willing to learn. I learn from my mistakes. I can express myself clearly.
I am committed to doing my best in any form of employment. After reviewing the enclosed resume, I would appreciate the opportunity to discuss why I would be a successful member of your team. I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
Meagn Goose
On another note, I did get an "A" on my Katrina Paper. In fact the only comment that the professor could make critically for it was actually incorrect. Semi colon useage is perfectly legal and definately does NOT indicate a comma splice. Thankyouverymuch.
I'm continuing to work on the comic book based paper and will post that up for everyone who actually gives a shit to read through once I have finished. I hope you enjoy it, despite the fact that I am having the damndest time figuring out where I want to start and even quite possibly the correct way to phrase my thesis statement. However, I do want to eventually publish in the academic journal I found on comic books just so that I can say I was published academically in my early undergraduate work in any college transfer application I do.
Which reminds me, I'm going to be looking into more on the Flagler College up in St Augustine. It seems at first glance like it would be a good fit, but that could all depend on the amount of financial aid I would be awarded. I also think I may go to graduate school at UF just so I can get a masters degree in comic books and visual rhetoric. That sounds freaking awesome despite the obvious drawbacks of employability. Who knows what tomorrow brings though, so no worries at the moment.
All is well on the southern front, hope you all are doing fabulously.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
comics?
Apparently my idea of a job has been severly limited by my small and scary world view of TUNNEL VISION.
Dudes, did you know there is a job out there called a "Futurist"? Swear to god, I thought I made that shit up when I was blathering on about becoming a future historian. Theoretically, it should exist only in my head because now I am insanely jealous that some old dude with money out there HAS my job. (Obviously it is mine for I have the flag in this argument.)
Also, there is an entire graduate and doctorate level program on COMIC BOOKS at UF. HOLY BATSHIT AWESOME! They produce an academic journal which has been insanely helpful in my comparison/contrast paper of vigilante superheroes in the 80's (ie: Watchmen and The Dark Knight). I'll totally post that one up later, it should be made of awesome.
That is all, there is a Maria monster to chatter with on GMAILchat.
Dudes, did you know there is a job out there called a "Futurist"? Swear to god, I thought I made that shit up when I was blathering on about becoming a future historian. Theoretically, it should exist only in my head because now I am insanely jealous that some old dude with money out there HAS my job. (Obviously it is mine for I have the flag in this argument.)
Also, there is an entire graduate and doctorate level program on COMIC BOOKS at UF. HOLY BATSHIT AWESOME! They produce an academic journal which has been insanely helpful in my comparison/contrast paper of vigilante superheroes in the 80's (ie: Watchmen and The Dark Knight). I'll totally post that one up later, it should be made of awesome.
That is all, there is a Maria monster to chatter with on GMAILchat.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Due dilligence.
To update: Got a 100 on my Philosophy test and a 98 on my Western Civ. It was kind of weird, two of the questions on the test were thrown out because I was the only one who got them right. Makes me wonder. I almost want to petition the teacher to change my grade by counting the two right questions for the one wrong. Probably not going to happen, but overall I'm pretty satisfied with the grades I have gotten so far. I'm interested to see what I got on my first paper in English, but it's not going to make or break anything really.
Decided to start working ahead a little bit in English and will probably get started on the comparison/contrast paper in the next day or so. I'm thinking I'll go in an entirely new direction and write about the fundamental difference between the Batman represented in the Silver Age of Comics as compared to the Batman represented by Frank Miller in The Dark Knight Returns. I think the dichotomy shows an interesting shift in public views especially if you integrate the social impact of the Cold War.
Heh. Comics is smarts.
Still doing well in Math, trying to stay ahead or at least current with the class. It's kind of fun if I think of it more as an exercise in preparedness than actual math. But we're doing basic algebra and if I don't get that base I'm never going to be able to take physics or higher level math classes. I have this weird desire to take physics, maybe just to prove to myself that I can.
In outside academia news, I have mastered the art of crock pot cooking and now return at the end of the day to a hot meal. This is excellent for the inevitable Law and Order rerun watching. My apartment is staying reasonably clean. I am still searching for the ultimate small space kitty litter. I'm going to finally be able to go to the doctor, the optometrist, and the dentist sometime next month. I vaguely fear for my teeth, but I should be able to handle at least some of the bills. It may be an exercise in damage control more than anything else. Bonus: Free Glasses! (I can't wait to get some new frames with a current prescription.)
I love being a student. I almost get a little knowledge buzz by the end of the day. I have to finish rereading Brave New World today just to be prepared for the book test in Phil. Not that I mind. After that is Stranger in a Strange Land, which I don't think I've read since High School. It's like a renaissance of SF in my life. Joy!
Also, I am ridiculously pleased with the resurgence of my vocabulary. It's rusty. It squeaks in places, but it's getting better every day. (This is also helpful with my strange specific sense of humor.)
It's club rush and I'm really trying to decide if I actually have time to consider taking the plunge into extra curricular. If they meet on tues and thur it's a possibility, but yea, other than that my life is rather full. Amazing how that happens.
Decided to start working ahead a little bit in English and will probably get started on the comparison/contrast paper in the next day or so. I'm thinking I'll go in an entirely new direction and write about the fundamental difference between the Batman represented in the Silver Age of Comics as compared to the Batman represented by Frank Miller in The Dark Knight Returns. I think the dichotomy shows an interesting shift in public views especially if you integrate the social impact of the Cold War.
Heh. Comics is smarts.
Still doing well in Math, trying to stay ahead or at least current with the class. It's kind of fun if I think of it more as an exercise in preparedness than actual math. But we're doing basic algebra and if I don't get that base I'm never going to be able to take physics or higher level math classes. I have this weird desire to take physics, maybe just to prove to myself that I can.
In outside academia news, I have mastered the art of crock pot cooking and now return at the end of the day to a hot meal. This is excellent for the inevitable Law and Order rerun watching. My apartment is staying reasonably clean. I am still searching for the ultimate small space kitty litter. I'm going to finally be able to go to the doctor, the optometrist, and the dentist sometime next month. I vaguely fear for my teeth, but I should be able to handle at least some of the bills. It may be an exercise in damage control more than anything else. Bonus: Free Glasses! (I can't wait to get some new frames with a current prescription.)
I love being a student. I almost get a little knowledge buzz by the end of the day. I have to finish rereading Brave New World today just to be prepared for the book test in Phil. Not that I mind. After that is Stranger in a Strange Land, which I don't think I've read since High School. It's like a renaissance of SF in my life. Joy!
Also, I am ridiculously pleased with the resurgence of my vocabulary. It's rusty. It squeaks in places, but it's getting better every day. (This is also helpful with my strange specific sense of humor.)
It's club rush and I'm really trying to decide if I actually have time to consider taking the plunge into extra curricular. If they meet on tues and thur it's a possibility, but yea, other than that my life is rather full. Amazing how that happens.
Saturday, September 6, 2008
Katrina Reform (Cause/Effect Paper)
Here you go mom, this is the tentative Final Draft of my paper.
Hurricane Katrina: The Educational Clean Slate
The physical scars of Hurricane Katrina are still evident in New Orleans. The widespread destruction of homes and property is only a small fraction of the devastation. The public school system itself, already laboring under the stresses of low income neighborhoods, corruption at high levels, and a lack of funding, was nearly irrevocably destroyed. However, even as the damaged areas are rebuilding, the blank slate left in Katrina’s wake has afforded educational reformers an opportunity to rework the basic idea of schooling. After years of being ranked as one of the poorest districts in the country, New Orleans public schools now have the opportunity to advance alternative methods of education. In effect, the destruction Katrina caused is now an opportunity to determine if charter Schools and magnet education will prove successful.
In an educational system that was previously ranked one of the lowest in the state and that was riddled with felony fraud convictions in 2006, New Orleans seemed to have given up on education (Tillotson 1). This was true especially in the poorer districts where the Orleans Parish School Board (OPSB) was “stripped of authority over all schools that were below state average on standardized tests” (Tillotson 1). The government instituted a new order in Katrina’s wake; it created the Recovery School District (RSD) which now offers a decentralized potluck of charter, magnet, and public schools (Maxwell 1). Many schools are now privately funded, or even backed by management corporations that fish for prospective students within the community. It is still questionable whether this “new paradigm of market based education” will cause a reemergence of social and poverty segregation that riddled the previous school system (Dingerson 9). Hopefully, the program will allow parents and students to make informed decisions about their educational needs. “In 2007, approximately 11 OPSB overseen Charter schools, 5 OPSB traditional schools, 18 RSD traditional schools, 19 RSD Charter schools and 2 Charters overseen by the State Board of Education will be the start of the changing New Orleans’ educational landscape” (Tillotson 2).
While the opportunities for education have evolved, it is questionable whether an emphasis on free market competition among providers is in fact best for the students and parents. Currently, there is no centralized database of choice for parents and without a “coordinated and honest broker of family information and an enforcement mechanism for discrimination, families will not be informed choosers, instead schools will do the choosing” (Tillotson 3). Charter and magnet schools function, theoretically, on the idea that “schools will respond to competitive pressures by reorienting their attention toward educational consumers” (Lubienski 1). Thus far, there is little progress in standardized test scores and New Orleans is still ranked as one of the lowest school districts in the state.
Before Katrina, educational options were mandated by wealth and location. Schools are now relying on the ‘educated consumer’ to fill the classrooms. Without a centralized system in place to monitor educational and admission standards “there is a lack of consistency in the quality across the schools” (Maxwell 3). While fourth and eighth graders in the RSD posted bigger gains in several categories than their peers statewide, the cities scores remain among the lowest in the nation (Maxwell 3). Do these small gains signify that the educational reforms are destined to work? Do they represent a new need to focus on consumer based educational opportunities and free market standards? Educators have been given a clean slate to answer these questions. New Orleans must wait out the next few years and see if the results and scores revolutionize schooling in general or succumb to the segregated and apathetic ways of its’ past. If schools rewrite educational standards based on market economy, then inevitably there will be successes tempered with utter failure. New Orleans has become an experimental staging area that could take decades to see the results.
Works Cited
Dingerson, Leigh. "Dismantling A Community Timeline." High School Journal 90.2 (Dec. 2006): 8-15.
Lubienski, Christopher. "Public Schools in Marketized Environments: Shifting Incentives and Unintended Consequences of Competition-Based Educational Reforms." American Journal of Education 111.4 (Aug. 2005): 464-486.
Maxwell, Lesli A. "As Year Ends, Questions Remain for New Orleans. (cover story)." Education Week 27.39 (04 June 2008): 1-13.
Tillotson, D. “What's Next for New Orleans?” The High School Journal v. 90 no. 2 (December 2006/January 2007) p. 69-74.
Hurricane Katrina: The Educational Clean Slate
The physical scars of Hurricane Katrina are still evident in New Orleans. The widespread destruction of homes and property is only a small fraction of the devastation. The public school system itself, already laboring under the stresses of low income neighborhoods, corruption at high levels, and a lack of funding, was nearly irrevocably destroyed. However, even as the damaged areas are rebuilding, the blank slate left in Katrina’s wake has afforded educational reformers an opportunity to rework the basic idea of schooling. After years of being ranked as one of the poorest districts in the country, New Orleans public schools now have the opportunity to advance alternative methods of education. In effect, the destruction Katrina caused is now an opportunity to determine if charter Schools and magnet education will prove successful.
In an educational system that was previously ranked one of the lowest in the state and that was riddled with felony fraud convictions in 2006, New Orleans seemed to have given up on education (Tillotson 1). This was true especially in the poorer districts where the Orleans Parish School Board (OPSB) was “stripped of authority over all schools that were below state average on standardized tests” (Tillotson 1). The government instituted a new order in Katrina’s wake; it created the Recovery School District (RSD) which now offers a decentralized potluck of charter, magnet, and public schools (Maxwell 1). Many schools are now privately funded, or even backed by management corporations that fish for prospective students within the community. It is still questionable whether this “new paradigm of market based education” will cause a reemergence of social and poverty segregation that riddled the previous school system (Dingerson 9). Hopefully, the program will allow parents and students to make informed decisions about their educational needs. “In 2007, approximately 11 OPSB overseen Charter schools, 5 OPSB traditional schools, 18 RSD traditional schools, 19 RSD Charter schools and 2 Charters overseen by the State Board of Education will be the start of the changing New Orleans’ educational landscape” (Tillotson 2).
While the opportunities for education have evolved, it is questionable whether an emphasis on free market competition among providers is in fact best for the students and parents. Currently, there is no centralized database of choice for parents and without a “coordinated and honest broker of family information and an enforcement mechanism for discrimination, families will not be informed choosers, instead schools will do the choosing” (Tillotson 3). Charter and magnet schools function, theoretically, on the idea that “schools will respond to competitive pressures by reorienting their attention toward educational consumers” (Lubienski 1). Thus far, there is little progress in standardized test scores and New Orleans is still ranked as one of the lowest school districts in the state.
Before Katrina, educational options were mandated by wealth and location. Schools are now relying on the ‘educated consumer’ to fill the classrooms. Without a centralized system in place to monitor educational and admission standards “there is a lack of consistency in the quality across the schools” (Maxwell 3). While fourth and eighth graders in the RSD posted bigger gains in several categories than their peers statewide, the cities scores remain among the lowest in the nation (Maxwell 3). Do these small gains signify that the educational reforms are destined to work? Do they represent a new need to focus on consumer based educational opportunities and free market standards? Educators have been given a clean slate to answer these questions. New Orleans must wait out the next few years and see if the results and scores revolutionize schooling in general or succumb to the segregated and apathetic ways of its’ past. If schools rewrite educational standards based on market economy, then inevitably there will be successes tempered with utter failure. New Orleans has become an experimental staging area that could take decades to see the results.
Works Cited
Dingerson, Leigh. "Dismantling A Community Timeline." High School Journal 90.2 (Dec. 2006): 8-15.
Lubienski, Christopher. "Public Schools in Marketized Environments: Shifting Incentives and Unintended Consequences of Competition-Based Educational Reforms." American Journal of Education 111.4 (Aug. 2005): 464-486.
Maxwell, Lesli A. "As Year Ends, Questions Remain for New Orleans. (cover story)." Education Week 27.39 (04 June 2008): 1-13.
Tillotson, D. “What's Next for New Orleans?” The High School Journal v. 90 no. 2 (December 2006/January 2007) p. 69-74.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Math Genius!
So I had a moment in class today where I thought I would explode with happy. For like the first time ever in my life I was singled out as the high score personage of break the bell curve awesome in a MATH class. Yes, this girl got a 100. It was shiny. I was basking quietly in a sort of embarrassed pleasure. This is one of those things that never happened before. It makes me want to keep trying, to keep getting that grade on tests and screw everyone else. I want to succeed!
Also, I managed to write my 500 word cause effect paper in English class in one sitting. I'm writing on the effects of clean slate reformers in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. It's a pretty fascinating topic if you look at it from both perspectives. In some ways the charter school push is the bad guy, using schools as an experiment for free market educational economies is initially supposed to incite a push for higher education standards as a way to draw in the best students, but it seems to be more of a segregating factor that instead improves a school's marketing ability. It's an interesting dilemma for someone who had up to this point been considering starting her own charter/magnet school in the indeterminate future.
I've also started researching my paper for Western Civ, quite possibly my favorite class this term. I've thrown out all of the options the professor gave us (with his blessing) and decided to focus on the life of Aspasia of Miletus. She's mostly relegated to footnote status, but is turning into something of a personal hero and I want to find out more about her. She hung with Socrates, Plato, and Aristotle. She was the lover and chief advisor of the most influential man of the Classical Athenian era Pericles. Overall, she's just something of a mystery and her achievements are either ridiculed by her male societal detractors or lauded for her cunning and mastery of rhetoric by her male sophist peers. She, in the fullest sense of the word, is made of awesome.
I'm still enjoying my philosophy class and have my first test on Tuesday. I also have to really dig in and get to work on the next journal assignment which deals with my personal beliefs on metaphysics and ethics. It should be interesting to say the least. Maybe I'll start tossing some of my paper rough drafts up here just to check back on at another time.
My outside of school life is still oddly complicated. I live and die by my daily planner. Wednesdays seem to have become something of a relax and chill with my friends day. Monday nights are my night with the boy. It's nice to wake up in the morning and drive there with him. It's gotten a little more difficult to spend time together with both of us working and in school, but it's definitely worth whatever time I get to spend with him.
Work is work. On Labor Day I got paid time and a half to draw pretty signs. That was cool. I've done more art for Starbucks than I have done in the last ten years. It's refreshing, but also reminds me why I'm not interested in pursuing a career in art and design.
I miss having free time and most of all I miss having a car and the freedom to just go where I need to when I need to. This will change soon though. I'm working on it. AUGH.
Also, I managed to write my 500 word cause effect paper in English class in one sitting. I'm writing on the effects of clean slate reformers in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. It's a pretty fascinating topic if you look at it from both perspectives. In some ways the charter school push is the bad guy, using schools as an experiment for free market educational economies is initially supposed to incite a push for higher education standards as a way to draw in the best students, but it seems to be more of a segregating factor that instead improves a school's marketing ability. It's an interesting dilemma for someone who had up to this point been considering starting her own charter/magnet school in the indeterminate future.
I've also started researching my paper for Western Civ, quite possibly my favorite class this term. I've thrown out all of the options the professor gave us (with his blessing) and decided to focus on the life of Aspasia of Miletus. She's mostly relegated to footnote status, but is turning into something of a personal hero and I want to find out more about her. She hung with Socrates, Plato, and Aristotle. She was the lover and chief advisor of the most influential man of the Classical Athenian era Pericles. Overall, she's just something of a mystery and her achievements are either ridiculed by her male societal detractors or lauded for her cunning and mastery of rhetoric by her male sophist peers. She, in the fullest sense of the word, is made of awesome.
I'm still enjoying my philosophy class and have my first test on Tuesday. I also have to really dig in and get to work on the next journal assignment which deals with my personal beliefs on metaphysics and ethics. It should be interesting to say the least. Maybe I'll start tossing some of my paper rough drafts up here just to check back on at another time.
My outside of school life is still oddly complicated. I live and die by my daily planner. Wednesdays seem to have become something of a relax and chill with my friends day. Monday nights are my night with the boy. It's nice to wake up in the morning and drive there with him. It's gotten a little more difficult to spend time together with both of us working and in school, but it's definitely worth whatever time I get to spend with him.
Work is work. On Labor Day I got paid time and a half to draw pretty signs. That was cool. I've done more art for Starbucks than I have done in the last ten years. It's refreshing, but also reminds me why I'm not interested in pursuing a career in art and design.
I miss having free time and most of all I miss having a car and the freedom to just go where I need to when I need to. This will change soon though. I'm working on it. AUGH.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
2nd Day Catharsis?
Today was supposed to start at a nice leisurely pace. A morning of morning things including cinnamon rolls. It was going to be a splendid luxury thing indeed before the hustle bustle of school. Plans worked well, I was up at 6:30 preheating the oven. Snooze. 7 brought the buns in the oven. Snooze. Take out and glaze buns. Drool slightly. Seriously, those things are freaking sinful when they are all hot and gooey. Breakfast porn and whatnot. So then there was the wake up officially at 7:30 and get dressed, munch the buns and head off to the school type area.
This is about where I actually reawaken at 7:50 and panic. I'm running around the apartment throwing clothes on and grabbing everything I need for the first class. Out the door in five minutes and down the street to school in another flourish. Running through the campus and skidding into class just in time to not be late. Exhale.
So, there are cinnamon sticky buns waiting for me patiently on the boy's counter in his kitchen. Along with all my dreams of happy lazy morning before class.
Other than that, the first few classes went off without a hitch. Philosophy was interesting, even if it had ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with the assigned reading and more with the teacher wandering around sort of lecturing at us about whatever struck his fancy at the moment.
English was the worst. He went over the syllabus. Again. It was painful. Then there was the detailed droning description of just what a PARAGRAPH was. Dear god, I thought my eyes would bleed. Seriously. This is college. Please do not treat us like idiots. I really dislike this man and it's taking a force of will previously undefined to not use the in class papers to lambaste his ambivalent teaching style of apathy. Note to self: Insulting in a sarc 3 fashion is not a way to ingratiate yourself to the faculty.
Western Civ ruled. Again. In a way that I look forward to learning more about it every time I'm in the room and am interested in the way my philosophy class and western civ class are going to sort of coincide. I like that at least in Civ I get a more comprehensive picture of what was going on in the world and WHY these particular schools of thought were cropping up in the different areas of the Western world. I don't know how he did it, but he made me sit up and take notice in a history class that I would have been sleeping through at any other time. I'm going to try and take more and more classes with this professor.
Also, going to get started on Journal assignment 2 for Philosophy and start looking into possible research projects for the Western Civ class. English is going to be kind of my slacker class, so I guess I should start working on the journal assignments which add up to be an annotated bibliography of 9 different journal readings. There are also a couple of papers but only one is over 500 words. I'm a little taken aback by the word counts for that class. It seems like something I could do in my sleep.
Took my break in between classes and had lunch with the irrepressible Kate Monster. We chattered about work and she let me bitch for awhile about the different things that were bothering me about school and work. There was gossiping and the largest dude ever. No, seriously, he had to duck to walk in the automatic doors. HUGE, I SAY.
Then we went and smoked with the chain smoking neuro science professor and he attempted again to corral me into the sublimely complicated world of working in the human brain. It actually is tempting, but I have no idea if I'd even like that stuff. His second option for me to pursue was astro physicist. I about snorted iced coffee out my nose. I think the scariest part was he was utterly serious.
Had to take off around then to speak with someone about a Math lab. My options were, stay later and take a different math class or drop Civ. So, I am now staying later on Tuesdays (about 5.30) and thur I get out around 4.30. Longer break in the middle of the day, but I figure I can parlay that into working in the ARC (academic resource center) on my homework. Or the library... well, and then most likely hitting the library at least on Tuesdays until close. (This is either going to make the boy hate me or make him happy that he's got a heck of a lot more time with me really nearby.)
Overall, second day of class in over a decade and everything seems to be falling into place. I hope that I can keep up with the work and the school and not drop any of the important things I'm attempting to juggle.
wow. I feel vaguely like I just vomited all over the keyboard. Ah, cathartic.
This is about where I actually reawaken at 7:50 and panic. I'm running around the apartment throwing clothes on and grabbing everything I need for the first class. Out the door in five minutes and down the street to school in another flourish. Running through the campus and skidding into class just in time to not be late. Exhale.
So, there are cinnamon sticky buns waiting for me patiently on the boy's counter in his kitchen. Along with all my dreams of happy lazy morning before class.
Other than that, the first few classes went off without a hitch. Philosophy was interesting, even if it had ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with the assigned reading and more with the teacher wandering around sort of lecturing at us about whatever struck his fancy at the moment.
English was the worst. He went over the syllabus. Again. It was painful. Then there was the detailed droning description of just what a PARAGRAPH was. Dear god, I thought my eyes would bleed. Seriously. This is college. Please do not treat us like idiots. I really dislike this man and it's taking a force of will previously undefined to not use the in class papers to lambaste his ambivalent teaching style of apathy. Note to self: Insulting in a sarc 3 fashion is not a way to ingratiate yourself to the faculty.
Western Civ ruled. Again. In a way that I look forward to learning more about it every time I'm in the room and am interested in the way my philosophy class and western civ class are going to sort of coincide. I like that at least in Civ I get a more comprehensive picture of what was going on in the world and WHY these particular schools of thought were cropping up in the different areas of the Western world. I don't know how he did it, but he made me sit up and take notice in a history class that I would have been sleeping through at any other time. I'm going to try and take more and more classes with this professor.
Also, going to get started on Journal assignment 2 for Philosophy and start looking into possible research projects for the Western Civ class. English is going to be kind of my slacker class, so I guess I should start working on the journal assignments which add up to be an annotated bibliography of 9 different journal readings. There are also a couple of papers but only one is over 500 words. I'm a little taken aback by the word counts for that class. It seems like something I could do in my sleep.
Took my break in between classes and had lunch with the irrepressible Kate Monster. We chattered about work and she let me bitch for awhile about the different things that were bothering me about school and work. There was gossiping and the largest dude ever. No, seriously, he had to duck to walk in the automatic doors. HUGE, I SAY.
Then we went and smoked with the chain smoking neuro science professor and he attempted again to corral me into the sublimely complicated world of working in the human brain. It actually is tempting, but I have no idea if I'd even like that stuff. His second option for me to pursue was astro physicist. I about snorted iced coffee out my nose. I think the scariest part was he was utterly serious.
Had to take off around then to speak with someone about a Math lab. My options were, stay later and take a different math class or drop Civ. So, I am now staying later on Tuesdays (about 5.30) and thur I get out around 4.30. Longer break in the middle of the day, but I figure I can parlay that into working in the ARC (academic resource center) on my homework. Or the library... well, and then most likely hitting the library at least on Tuesdays until close. (This is either going to make the boy hate me or make him happy that he's got a heck of a lot more time with me really nearby.)
Overall, second day of class in over a decade and everything seems to be falling into place. I hope that I can keep up with the work and the school and not drop any of the important things I'm attempting to juggle.
wow. I feel vaguely like I just vomited all over the keyboard. Ah, cathartic.
Monday, August 25, 2008
Caution: Do Not Panic.
So, I have officially returned to the world of academia. It is both thrilling and rather annoying. My English teacher blows. He expects mediocrity and therefore sort of radiates this feeling of pathos. Lovely. My goal is to get all A's.
My philosophy teacher rules, but in a completely different way from how my western civ prof. rules.
I have way more homework than I ever remember doing, but this might only be because I never DID homework before. Stupid ambitions and wanting to excel. *snicker*
Overall, just really busy and trying to find my footing so that I can start sleeping more than five hours a night.
My philosophy teacher rules, but in a completely different way from how my western civ prof. rules.
I have way more homework than I ever remember doing, but this might only be because I never DID homework before. Stupid ambitions and wanting to excel. *snicker*
Overall, just really busy and trying to find my footing so that I can start sleeping more than five hours a night.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
WHERE IS MY RED PEN!!
So, sitting across from this gentleman who is in the process of writing his paper, I realize just how much I have my work cut out for me.
Given free rein I think he would write sixty pages in nothing but quotes. Oh dear lord grant me patience. I just had to explain for twenty minutes that he needed to write without looking every two seconds at his material and just give me SOMETHING to work with. He doesn't understand conjugation or tense and has some of the most convoluted sentence structure I've ever seen in a person who is just speaking.
This should be interesting, but at least the paper is on something kinda cool. Effecting positive change through leadership during a crisis.
ok, going to stop bitching now and attempt to get back to work.
Given free rein I think he would write sixty pages in nothing but quotes. Oh dear lord grant me patience. I just had to explain for twenty minutes that he needed to write without looking every two seconds at his material and just give me SOMETHING to work with. He doesn't understand conjugation or tense and has some of the most convoluted sentence structure I've ever seen in a person who is just speaking.
This should be interesting, but at least the paper is on something kinda cool. Effecting positive change through leadership during a crisis.
ok, going to stop bitching now and attempt to get back to work.
Tired.
I'm tired today, like my head is stuffed with cotton balls. Gotta wake up and go help someone write a sixty page paper.
Mostly I just want to curl up in bed and do nothing. Probably not the most useful thing to do on my day off, but my life is about to get a hell of a lot more complicated in the next couple of weeks.
Things I need to do:
Sell my car. (it doesn't work anymore, completely dead)
Read: Stranger in a Strange Land, Brave New World, Ishmael, and The Other Boleyn Girl.
Call my sponsor.
GET COFFEE. Jesus. The headache is probably just caffeine related.
Clean my apartment and maybe do some laundry.
Things that I will probably do?
Work on my 4th step and flop around uselessly.
Whee.
Mostly I just want to curl up in bed and do nothing. Probably not the most useful thing to do on my day off, but my life is about to get a hell of a lot more complicated in the next couple of weeks.
Things I need to do:
Sell my car. (it doesn't work anymore, completely dead)
Read: Stranger in a Strange Land, Brave New World, Ishmael, and The Other Boleyn Girl.
Call my sponsor.
GET COFFEE. Jesus. The headache is probably just caffeine related.
Clean my apartment and maybe do some laundry.
Things that I will probably do?
Work on my 4th step and flop around uselessly.
Whee.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Step One
Today I woke up around 10:30 (before the alarm and gloriously later than usual) overly hot in my bed and draped with boy and cats. The computer was on my nightstand and I waited the appropriate thirty seconds before turning it on. This is progress.
I've been without internet for months, stealing it surreptitiously from libraries, landlords, and unsuspecting friends. It's a little bit like guerrilla warfare without the guns, unless pellet guns count. It was probably for the best as I find the internet utterly distracting.
And I've had a lot to do the last ten months.
So, here is the state of my life from the last ten months:
I was bitten by a spider as the universe's way of telling me that I have a drinking problem. Peter Parker turned into a super hero, I turned from a party girl into a traditional run of the mill alcoholic. WHEE!
Finding out I was an alcoholic was a lot like going to sleep at 18 and waking up 30. I was blinking and grudgingly climbing out of a hole and into the super bright world of responsibility and real relationships with people. There were weeks of shaking and at least a month of being absolutely certain I was brain damaged because I had the attention span of a gnat. Then things started making more sense. There was laughing and alot of learning. There was some interesting revelations marked mainly by:
What the hell dude. I'm thirty and I live in a falling down house with a twenty year old stoner who can't pick up after himself with no hot water cause I can't pay rent and bills and other stuff. I've been dating people a decade younger than me and showing up for my life hungover.
Now however, I've got a little over ten months without a drink under my belt and here's what's going on now.
I start school again for the first time in over a decade on tuesday. HOLY SHIT. I work thirty plus hours a week slinging coffee. I'm in a book club. I've learned to speak with telemarketers and debt collectors without swearing and getting results. I've paid off one credit card. I've been in a healthy relationship that I learned alot about boundaries and open honest communication and am now putting those things to use in a relationship with a boy I'm pretty sure I'm going to marry one day. I've been to disney world and Key West. I've moved. I've lost my license and had my car break down without freaking out over it. I've got a plan to buy a scooter in the near future or at least some strange beater car that can get me back and forth to Bradenton and St Pete.
I'm in love with my life again, but I'm not expecting to be retardedly happy all the time. I'm content and I'm grateful.
And now I'm going to shut up and try and get this thing working so I can keep my friends up with my current activities.
I've been without internet for months, stealing it surreptitiously from libraries, landlords, and unsuspecting friends. It's a little bit like guerrilla warfare without the guns, unless pellet guns count. It was probably for the best as I find the internet utterly distracting.
And I've had a lot to do the last ten months.
So, here is the state of my life from the last ten months:
I was bitten by a spider as the universe's way of telling me that I have a drinking problem. Peter Parker turned into a super hero, I turned from a party girl into a traditional run of the mill alcoholic. WHEE!
Finding out I was an alcoholic was a lot like going to sleep at 18 and waking up 30. I was blinking and grudgingly climbing out of a hole and into the super bright world of responsibility and real relationships with people. There were weeks of shaking and at least a month of being absolutely certain I was brain damaged because I had the attention span of a gnat. Then things started making more sense. There was laughing and alot of learning. There was some interesting revelations marked mainly by:
What the hell dude. I'm thirty and I live in a falling down house with a twenty year old stoner who can't pick up after himself with no hot water cause I can't pay rent and bills and other stuff. I've been dating people a decade younger than me and showing up for my life hungover.
Now however, I've got a little over ten months without a drink under my belt and here's what's going on now.
I start school again for the first time in over a decade on tuesday. HOLY SHIT. I work thirty plus hours a week slinging coffee. I'm in a book club. I've learned to speak with telemarketers and debt collectors without swearing and getting results. I've paid off one credit card. I've been in a healthy relationship that I learned alot about boundaries and open honest communication and am now putting those things to use in a relationship with a boy I'm pretty sure I'm going to marry one day. I've been to disney world and Key West. I've moved. I've lost my license and had my car break down without freaking out over it. I've got a plan to buy a scooter in the near future or at least some strange beater car that can get me back and forth to Bradenton and St Pete.
I'm in love with my life again, but I'm not expecting to be retardedly happy all the time. I'm content and I'm grateful.
And now I'm going to shut up and try and get this thing working so I can keep my friends up with my current activities.
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