Step One

Today I woke up around 10:30 (before the alarm and gloriously later than usual) overly hot in my bed and draped with boy and cats. The computer was on my nightstand and I waited the appropriate thirty seconds before turning it on. This is progress.

I've been without internet for months, stealing it surreptitiously from libraries, landlords, and unsuspecting friends. It's a little bit like guerrilla warfare without the guns, unless pellet guns count. It was probably for the best as I find the internet utterly distracting.

And I've had a lot to do the last ten months.

So, here is the state of my life from the last ten months:

I was bitten by a spider as the universe's way of telling me that I have a drinking problem. Peter Parker turned into a super hero, I turned from a party girl into a traditional run of the mill alcoholic. WHEE!

Finding out I was an alcoholic was a lot like going to sleep at 18 and waking up 30. I was blinking and grudgingly climbing out of a hole and into the super bright world of responsibility and real relationships with people. There were weeks of shaking and at least a month of being absolutely certain I was brain damaged because I had the attention span of a gnat. Then things started making more sense. There was laughing and alot of learning. There was some interesting revelations marked mainly by:

What the hell dude. I'm thirty and I live in a falling down house with a twenty year old stoner who can't pick up after himself with no hot water cause I can't pay rent and bills and other stuff. I've been dating people a decade younger than me and showing up for my life hungover.

Now however, I've got a little over ten months without a drink under my belt and here's what's going on now.

I start school again for the first time in over a decade on tuesday. HOLY SHIT. I work thirty plus hours a week slinging coffee. I'm in a book club. I've learned to speak with telemarketers and debt collectors without swearing and getting results. I've paid off one credit card. I've been in a healthy relationship that I learned alot about boundaries and open honest communication and am now putting those things to use in a relationship with a boy I'm pretty sure I'm going to marry one day. I've been to disney world and Key West. I've moved. I've lost my license and had my car break down without freaking out over it. I've got a plan to buy a scooter in the near future or at least some strange beater car that can get me back and forth to Bradenton and St Pete.

I'm in love with my life again, but I'm not expecting to be retardedly happy all the time. I'm content and I'm grateful.

And now I'm going to shut up and try and get this thing working so I can keep my friends up with my current activities.